End of the Week Essay // On Relationships

I sat down to brunch this past weekend with two women.  One was a good friend of mine who has recently relocated to the West coast, and the other was a friend of hers I hadn't met before.  As is wont to happen, we got on the subject of relationships.  Myself and the friend are both in long-term relationships, while my friend got out of a long-term relationship not too long ago and is wading her way through single life in her mid-20s for the first time.

At this time where seemingly all of my friends are getting engaged, getting married, and talking about mortgages, it's hard to stay out of the fray.  I think that all of those things are wonderful and I am incredibly happy for my friends who are going down that path, because that is what they and their partners have chosen.

As for my choice, I don't know yet.  And that's ok.

DT and I are at the point, and have been for awhile, where we constantly get the "You two are next!" comments or the "When are you guys going to pull the trigger?" questions.  While we've learned to deftly avoid or dodge those, it still amazes me that people think they should be commenting on our relationship in that way.

At brunch, my friend mentioned that she will never again ask someone when they are getting engaged or married, because while going through her break-up and her newly single life, she came to the realization that it's an incredibly personal and invasive question.

Three friends' marriages have fallen apart this past year.  Some of them I considered perfect for each other, and others never were a good idea in the first place.  But good or bad to begin with, it's heartbreaking to see a marriage, a relationship, a life together, collapse.  It's a stark reminder that however wonderful things may look from the outside, what goes on behind closed doors can be completely different.

So, breathe.  Take your time.  Don't compare.  Know what works for you and your relationship.  You're on your own timeline, not anyone else's.  

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  1. I love this! It's refreshing to see someone else shares my view on taking your time, waiting, not comparing, and doing what's right for YOU in your own timing. I, too, am in a long term relationship and get the constant questions that get really annoying... I wish more people would realize that it's such a personal thing and really none of their business! hah! Thanks for writing this...

    xo Always, Abby

  2. Abby, thanks so much for commenting! It's difficult sometimes with all the super pretty wedding blogs and all of my friends getting engaged lately, but I always worry that people are so wrapped up in planning a wedding that they forget what they actually should be planning is a life together. I don't take that lightly, hence the waiting, figuring it all out, making sure it's right for me and for DT. Nice to know I'm not the only one!


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